I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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