I wannas sexs uuuuu
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
