Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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