Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
In America we eat man semen.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
