Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
