Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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