i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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