That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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