So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
