Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
