He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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