I seem to have left my pride at pride
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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