They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
