What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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