this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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