Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
