I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need a beard to bite.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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