I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
