the condom got lost in my hair
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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