last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she pinky promised me she was 18
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
