You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
