this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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