I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
