ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
