I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
