STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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