Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
