Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
