Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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