Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
