oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
