I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
