with your own penis?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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