I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
