Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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