Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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