Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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