before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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