I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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