sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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