this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
