his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
