i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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