you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
