Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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