Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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