Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize