Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I cut my penus on the lid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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