I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
