i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
