Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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