I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize