well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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