Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
