I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
organizing the empties. That sober.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize