its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
