you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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