Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
