i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
