I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
