blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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