go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
