At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
