we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
