Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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