Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
