Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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