When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
