oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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