The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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