Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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