hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
