Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
