Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
