First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
