just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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