hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
