Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
